Pages

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Moving house

                                                
I looked determinedly at the pile of rubbish lodged into the loft. Used high-school textbooks, old broken toys stuffed into polythene bags of unseemly colours, a torn worn out Spiderman school bag, all stored away by Renee to preserve the memories of her childhood. This sentimentality seemed unnecessary to me, especially since I, as the eldest among four siblings had been used to passing my things forward to the younger ones. Often it was a prized object, a doll or a favourite illustrated book, handled carefully to be of use to the subsequent owner. When the youngest had outgrown it, my mother would pass those on to relatives with younger children or to the domestic help. With a large family, space was at a premium. Though Renee, as the only child had more of that to her disposal, a government flat in South Delhi did not afford any more room than a bursting-to-the seams bungalow in North Calcutta.  And now, that we were moving to an even tinier flat to the suburbs, after my husband’s retirement from work, I had put my foot down and insisted that we rid ourselves of all things we did not need. Renee grudgingly agreed when I told her over the phone. I could have had my way even if she did not-she was away studying in Mumbai.

It was taking longer than I had hoped. While I was mechanically taking things out, dusting them and passing them out to my husband for him to sort into boxes, even the slightest scrap of paper seemed to evoke a string of reminiscences from him. The book that Renee had won for being a class topper at the annual day in school, the answer sheet for the first geometry test she had flunked, a ‘magazine’ she had made as one of her holiday projects. And when he discovered an art book at the bottom of the first pile, I found myself, squatting on the floor beside him, and looking through her childish drawings.

The men seemed to have square bodies, the women unnaturally long hair, and a rainbow marked the background for most of the pictures. She was six I think, when her class teacher suggested that we encourage her towards art, because she seemed to have a certain flair for it. Ever the dutiful parents, we hunted for one until we concluded that the good art teachers were either too expensive, or lived too far off for us to take Renee to, every week. Then Ghoshal Da, my husband’s senior colleague and neighbour suggested that we let Abhijeet, his twenty-year old son, be Renee’s mentor. I was not averse to the idea. Apart from the convenience of the set up, Babu (Abhijeet’s nickname) also had the credentials. He was a student at the Delhi College of Art-enough credentials for an aspiring artist anyway. Plus Renee, not the most agreeable of children, seemed to like him.

Every Sunday, she would wait eagerly for her Babu Dada to arrive and sit beside her, while she first drew a line, than laboriously erased it, then drew again and repeated the procedure with the eraser, progressively dirtying the page. It was only when working with crayons, that she showed any sign of the flair her teacher had noticed. Babu taught her to stay within the lines, use colour and shades, and she learnt fast. My husband was happy because the only ‘fee’ Babu charged was Sunday’s breakfast, and I did not really mind cooking. For one, Babu relished whatever he ate, and was generous with his compliments. Sometimes, if his mother were not home, he would come for lunch after college, and show us his drawings. And even though I was his ‘kakima’, I got along better with him than with his parents. I enjoyed our conversations, for he was aware and well read and could talk about politics as intelligently as he could about cricket. His idealism was contagious, and I remember how he persuaded me to go vote in that year’s general elections (his first), when my husband said he would not because all politicians were corrupt anyway.

Another neighbour in the colony that Renee and I both loved was Meeta. She was married to Ranjan, a young engineer from IIT, Kharagpur- and a poster boy for affirmative action.  The perfect example of how a poor boy could ensure a better life for his parents and future generations with the help of more opportunities. Meeta herself was from the same town, but not as educated as her husband. She was frail when I first saw her as a newly-wed, and three years in the city, albeit with much better means than before marriage, did very little to help. Kharagpur may be more than a sleepy little town now but even the Delhi of the nineties, before the Metro and before the malls, with its traffic, pollution and people, intimidated her. I empathised with her, because even though I was from a metropolis, I too had battled unfamiliarity with the language and the culture, when I had first arrived. I knew Meeta looked up to me and I enjoyed showing her around. I familiarised her with the shops, with the Hindi names of the vegetables, and the markets where fish could be bought. Renee loved Meeta’s cooking. The mutton and the prawns she made were brilliant no doubt, but even her rajma, a hitherto alien ingredient for her, eclipsed mine. And every time she made something new, or something she knew Renee liked, a bowl of it would unerringly sit on our dining table.

Meeta and her husband, the Ghoshals and we, were the only Bengali families in the colony. Naturally, since she knew very few people in Delhi, and certainly much fewer Bengalis, I introduced Meeta to Mrs.Ghoshal. The latter was cordial enough but presumably with her job and domestic chores, found no time to reciprocate the visit. Babu saw Meeta sometimes at my home and showed her some of his paintings. She liked most of them, especially the landscapes, but the two of them did not really get along as well I had thought they would, which surprised me since she was only a little older than he was. Admittedly, their interaction was limited, and their backgrounds disparate, so I resisted any further attempts to get them and their families better acquainted.

Babu was still a favourite with Renee though, and their art lessons continued through the year, until one day when Mrs. Ghoshal called to ask if I could accommodate Babu for lunch. Normally that would not be a problem at all, but I had made only pulses that day, something I could hardly serve to a guest, even if it was Babu. My own daughter had been making dissatisfied noises at the menu. Meeta was at my side when I attended the call and she immediately offered to get me some of the fish curry she had made. I protested half-heartedly, but she waved those off, happy to see Renee jumping around, celebrating the favourable turn of events. After dutifully dropping the bowl of the deep brown coloured curry off, she left, just as Babu came in, giving him a quick smile. I went inside the kitchen to heat the food, hearing Renee excitedly tell Babu how good the curry looked. I could not agree more but when I took up the bowl to serve him the fish, he sheltered his plate with his hand and said he did not want any of it.

“What will you have then? I have only made daal! I thought you liked fish!” I exclaimed.

“I do”, he replied, “but I don’t want anything she has cooked”.

For a second I looked at him in disbelief, then regained enough composure to rustle up an omelette.

The following Sunday, in the most uncharacteristic manner, Renee refused to come in front of Babu. My husband was embarrassed. Babu was after all his senior’s son. He tried to scold Renee into complying, but she started sobbing into his arms. He held her and melted immediately, assuring her that she didn’t have to take art classes any longer.
“But why don’t you want to colour any more with Babu dada?” he asked Renee later, when she had regained her calm.
“He doesn’t like Meeta aunty”, she replied simply.

As I smiled at those drawings fourteen years later, my husband looked at me sideways and suggested that we could save some of Renee’s old things.

“At least those that nobody else would have any use for”, he hastened to add. I agreed.

Saturday, 7 June 2014

Back to (D) School

The e-rick driver is in a good mood. He sings 'Suhana safar hai yeh mausam haseen', while facing the risk of a heat stroke.

I down two glasses of iced tea within the first thirty minutes. I come back later for a third, but the ice cubes are over. I settle for masala coke instead.

I make my job sound way cooler than it is  to people I don't like (Guess who). I am more honest with my friends.

I feel happier seeing Rawat bhaiya (who ignores me) than any of the professors at D school.

I spend inordinate amounts of time talking to professors I didn't even like in D school. But let's face it-there were very few profs I did like.

For the second time in my life, I follow every word of a speech. For the first time, someone is giving me advice I really need.

They serve vegetarian shaadi wala food. I die a little. The shaadi wala desert (ice cream with hot gulaab jamuns) saves the day.

I salivate at the description of food served at a friend's wedding. I am shocked I have a friend who has had a wedding.

I introduce a friend to my colleagues. I feel weird having colleagues.



Friday, 30 May 2014

"I am too good-looking for paper-work"

                                   -Gregory House, M.D.



Yes Sir, you are.


You so are.

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Book Review: the Accidental Prime Minister (Sanjaya Baru)

In 2004, after the Financial Express speculated that the Prime Minister would retain the Finance Ministry, Sanjaya Baru, the editor of the newspaper (and the author of the Accidental Prime Minister) got a call from Chidambaram, asking if this was true. When Baru confirmed he had received the news from reliable sources, Chidambaram went into a mini-rant, wondering what portfolio he would get, and that anything less fashionable than home, defence and finance would be ill-suited to his stature. It is this kind of gossip that punctuates most of the Accidental Prime Minister, making it the most fun piece of non-fiction I have read (which doesn’t say much given how I avoid the genre like plague, but still).

The other important aspect of the book is the picture it reveals about political machinations. Baru reveals how after the NREGA was extended to 500 districts, Congress leaders fell over themselves trying to give the credit for it to the Gandhi family, when the person responsible was Raghuvansh Prasad of the RJD. In another instance, during the negotiations for the nuclear deal, when the Left withdrew its support due to its anti-US stand, Baru got a call from Amar Singh, then a part of the Samajwadi Party (SP). He was unwell, he said, undergoing treatment in an American hospital, where the American doctors and staff were paying close attention to him.  The SP finally openly supported the deal after APJ Abdul Kalam (the then President, former scientist and Muslim) endorsed the same. This helped them gain a foothold in Delhi, without antagonising their Muslim vote-banks in UP. Amar Singh was to later claim that the authors of the nuclear deal were not Manmohan Singh and Bush but Amar Singh and Bush. Even academia it turns out is not isolated from politicking- you might be a well-respected economist alright but the journey to the Planning Commission is smoother if you have some recalcitrant (Leftist) friends in the coalition ruling at the Centre.

Of course these are side-shows to what the book aims to be-an insight into the life of the ‘neyk Sardardji’, who helmed the Indian government for the last 10 years. It mostly succeeds in giving a balanced account of the PM’s achievements and failings-though the latter only confirm what media accounts have been telling for a number of years. These include a deference to the Congress President (sometimes as a survival mechanism) and his almost-willingness to turn a blind-eye to the misdemeanours of his political colleagues. The book is far more interesting however, when it details the PM’s strengths-his doggedness in pursuing the Nuclear Deal with the US, the deft handling of some of his coalition partners, his pluralistic economic and political world-view as well as a healthy sense of humour. In 2007, when Baru reported to his PM that L K Advani was conducting havans to propitiate the Gods into ousting the Congress government, Singh joked that Advani lacked the basic data to ensure that-the PM’s accurate date of birth. 

While Baru writes an engaging account of his experiences as media advisor to the PM in UPA-1, he is guilty at times of over-explaining, at others of writing the same thing more than once-nothing that some editing won’t correct. Lastly, some lines in the book come off as sexist, though not more than our political classes. In 2004, Yashwant Sinha, likened Manmohan Singh to Shikhandi, the character from Mahabharata who was a woman in a past life and a man in the present-and hence an incapable leader. The problematic part in the book is when Baru writes, that “..there was a double entendre in that metaphor, implying that the Prime Minister was controlled by Sonia Gandhi, and it was a damaging allusion. Clearly, my biggest challenge as media advisor was to firmly establish in the minds of ordinary people the credentials and credibility of Dr. Singh as PM”. Later in the epilogue, he wonders what Yashwant Sinha really meant by that jibe.., “was he (Sinha) disingenuously suggesting that he (Singh) was not a real man and a real leader?

Monday, 5 May 2014

Blog Ki Kasam

I realised that the only resolutions I manage to keep (and that too, only just) are all blog-related.

And short term.

And since I really need to rekindle my interest in economics, I will be posting economics related content for the coming two months. I am aiming for weekly updates, as of now.

Of course, that means you (dear, reader) are probably going to lose interest.

Or maybe I will be a really fun economics writer, like this guy here, the other love of my live.


Sunday, 27 April 2014

Blog B'day D Day (Ah well, 13 hours too late)

People who know me well (which you, since you are reading this, probably do) are aware of my hatred of my own birthdays.
I have always reasonably enjoyed others' however. Turns out even my own blog's (which has to be sad on one level, but let's ignore that for the moment).

The day began (fashionably late) with me shelling out 300 bucks to quell my academic curiosity, at PVR Saket, that citadel of pretentiousness (with its Walk of Fame) and over-pricing.
However, 300 rupees are only enough to get you cattle-class seats-hard, uncomfortable and affording no privacy to the couples (and to us from them) flanking us from all sides. And because fleecing customers is not criminal enough, the theatre decided it was acceptable to make its patrons sit for an extra twenty minutes while a palanquin perched Katrina Kaif traversed through badlands looking for the man(go) of her dreams, and little girls made puppy eyes at their fathers to make them quit smoking.

Even the writers of these montrosities however, put more thought into their material than the writers of the actual feature film. It's one thing to take an interesting concept and make a bad film; it is another thing to take an interesting concept and make a boring film. So boring that the opening sequence with three mustachioed gundas establishing that Kangana Ranaut's Alka was a b****h, k*****ya and what not, had me dozing off (like a middle-aged uncle, but let's ignore that also for the moment).

Not ones to let any money go to waste, my friends woke me up and the three of us decided to sacrifice our well being for the greater good-entertaining our co-audience with live commentary on the happenings on screen.A very unappreciative audience as it turns out. Some people left our side to go sit in front. Another school-masterish guy, disapproving of all the fun we were having, applied to a higher authority-the usher-to silence us (that could be the plot a really fun slasher flick). The usher in turn issued us an ultimatum, the end result of which was that we left the theatre in the middle of the film. Voluntarily, mind you.

The rest of the very hot Delhi evening was spent having cold coffee, momos dimsums and chicken fingers. And bitching loudly about our respective lives.

A very enjoyable evening indeed.











Friday, 25 April 2014

Countdown to Blog B'day-Day 2

Since it's my blog's second birthday this week (26 April 2014), I have decided to blog every day up to it. However short. However frivolous (which of course goes without saying).

Read about Day 3, Day 4, Day 5 and Day 6 here.


I have been to the beach before, with my parents. My mom always ensured that if I ever ventured into the sea, it was not beyond a point when the water was more than ankle-high. She would clutch my hands if I tried to go deeper. The instinct to protect.

I have always wanted to escape that protection. Not in the way teenagers rebel (I completely skipped that phase). But just out of the wish to experience everything. Out of the desire to feel everything there is to be felt. And purely for selfish reasons.  If I hoped to be a writer some day, I could imagine events. I couldn't imagine people's emotional reactions to those events, could I? How could I write about someone falling in love, if I had never been in love myself? Or about loss, if I had never felt the hurt.

But this has led to the oddest thing. The realisation that anything that happens to me is useful (in the sense of adding to my life experience, and hence the material for a book I may or may not write in the future), the hurt I feel is always dimmed to that extent. I am able to step back and analyse my feelings-like an outsider. Like a critic reviewing a film.

Is this related to age, maturity? Is it because I don't have other people to talk to (on a daily basis), that I have these intense discussions in my head? Or is it really because of the writer-ly ambitions? (Which will probably just remain ambitions if I keep using words like 'writer-ly').

It can't be maturity. If anything, over the past nine months, since leaving campus, I have become more vulnerable. Earlier, the only thing that could get me upset were feelings of aimlessness, insecurities about my career and if bad things happened to my family or friends. I could get over anything anybody said or did to me by (mentally, always mentally) abusing them. Because those people were never important. And the important people cared too much. It's not like that anymore. But then, wasn't that the point of escaping all that protection?